10 years strong.

Time went by watching you grow up. Time changed us. We became closer yet so distant. Maybe this is what growing up is all about.
Love is real, but love isn’t conventional. Within it, you learn how to hate and dislike something that you cannot change.
You are a special thing that this world needs. Most people our age would walk away and leave and want to see life for something greater. You—you waited, even if there was nothing to wait for. The way you pulled yourself through all the hard times. I see how hard you fight every day just to smile. Your smile heals a broken man. I love seeing you smile.
I remember 4 years ago on February 11th, I was coming home from Mount Sinai and making sure the surgery for the next day was going to be okay. This was before we even knew I had cancer. You were waiting for me at my house because you just wanted to spend the night with me. We slept early and woke up at 4am. I never will understand how hard it was for you and for my family to go through everything, but I can tell you I appreciate it a lot even though at times I don’t really know how to express it. Do you remember when we first started talking again? We spend the whole night on the phone just sharing everything about each other until you had to go to work in the morning. The next day was New Year’s Eve; after work, I walked you to the bus. We stopped at Subway along the way and I ate; you weren’t that hungry. I remember seeing your face and thinking: “If only I could just tell her how I really feel.” Something happened that night and you cried. Even though I didn’t understand it back then I think I understand it now. You still cry the same way now. It’s that crying out of frustration. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have no one in this world. As long as I am living I can try and become the best for myself and for you. We took the bus the home and it was the most fun I had in a while. I felt a real connection with you. I remember I used to be so embarrassed around you; you ended up kissing me that night. That was the first time you went for the kiss. You made me see life with a purpose, that even when you can’t you should. You are not perfect neither am I. I think that’s what makes us perfect. We are growing up from an immature relationship, The child in me starting to understand what it is like to love and what it feels like. I am not going to promise you that I will be the perfect person you always want me to be. I will upset you at times but we will learn how to heal and become better people together.
Thank you for giving me the best 10 years of my life. Thank you for helping me see in my darkest moments. Thank you for accepting me in my lowest times as a human. I can’t picture a world without you. I can’t wait to start a family with you.


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