You’re still here

Today I was thinking to myself, what is the point of doing anything if I am going to die one day. I then quickly told myself I am not dead yet. Won’t be dead for a while. I am here now and now is all I have.
After almost dying I was waiting to die without seeing what it was like living after almost dying. Everyone has an answer to a question that was never asked. I had an answer to my question that I never asked.
You can limit yourself to what you think you would be in a world that has endless opportunities.
There are always going to be good and bad in the world – without either, none would exist. The word exist is also the word being. Human which is us and being which in now makes a human being.
I am not fond of routine, structure, or planning. I am a big believer in trusting that whatever you set your mind to you will accomplish. I have learned how to master what I need; what Mouhamad Beydoun needs.
So many of us just exist forgetting about the human in us. We forget what it is like being a human. I try my hardest to be a good person. I am not always a nice guy… at times I give zero fucks and at other times I give the world my heart.
There are things that I need to start realizing: not everyone will understand what they want from the words or actions you let out, it is never your responsibility to change their mind or their viewpoint. You will lose too much of who you are. – Note to self
There are so many good people on this earth, we get blinded by the ugly, ugly will always outshine the good “if you allow it”.
If you were to talk to me six months ago, you would’ve thought I belonged in a mental health hospital. This thing called paranoia started to kick in. I was trusting people in thinking they could save me with me trying to save myself.
I still live with my parents, I still struggle to find a source of income to help me move out. However, I am doing what I love and doing what I want. Not a lot of people like to hear that because they never had the chance to really do whatever they wanted. Too stuck on thinking or waiting for other people’s opinion on them. I was one of those people.
I am always here to listen, I am always here to talk, I am always here with you at heart. Don’t rely on anyone saving you; save yourself. Show the world who you are raw and uncut, show the world a side of you that you want to be around at night when you are all alone and need that someone to tell you that everything will be okay.

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