From cancer

Breaking up, moving on

It’s not you that I hold onto. I don’t even miss you. I wrote about you before and felt completely empowered. Been checking up on you every now and then, you still never showed up. I can say that you standing me up has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. At…

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HEART AND BRAIN

Life. We all have it, we all experience it differently. I wanted to touch base on something that my experience taught me. The heart and brain will never be one. They are not friends and will never be friends. My heart is depressed and my brain is overloaded with information. Not all are equal, just…

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Where did you go ?

Lost love.I went to the lost and found the other day looking for you. They said they never heard of you. They asked me if I could describe you.I drew blank. They asked me when was it that I last saw you.I drew blank.I left looking for you. Found that I was creating hate in…

Narcissism, Self-centered, Fraud, Fake.

Label me. I don’t really care anymore. Speak opened minded, self-reflect on your own self. No one can save somebody that doesn’t want to save themselves. Dear people, I don’t know who this will reach, I hope it reaches somebody that needs it the most.  We are all going through something in Life. I want to first thank the people who believed me in and I let them down. Deep down somewhere in my heart lays a compassionate soul. There are many different layers under the surface of my being. I am grateful enough to be where I am now.…

Comparison Is the Thief

I don’t really know where this is going. I just turned 28 years old a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I am 90 years old. The more I say this the more I feel so confused. Life is confusing. Maybe I am just confused. I know somewhere deep within lays happiness. Happiness isn’t there anymore. Confused about where I want to take my story. Maybe I feel guilty for not loving myself after cancer, Maybe I feel regret for not helping others with sharing the best side of me. Maybe I just reached my breaking point, maybe its…

Truth Hurts.

Everyone wants you to be happy. Once you know something, it’s forever. Can’t take back the words and can’t just forget the truth. The truth hurts- that’s why no one likes to hear it. Life sometimes can be funny. We have people all over the world trying to figure it out. Some get distracted by the superficial meanings in life, while others feel it so much that they just get lost in their own misery. I failed in being myself and failed even more so at trying to be someone I am not. When you try and become something you’re…

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Money or Laughter

You might think that you may know me based off of my old writing or my old pictures. Maybe you even think I have the world at my fingertips. Yes, I traveled the world with life after cancer, but is that happiness? Is happiness measured by material?

Same start different finish

Everyday we wake up. That within itself is the greatest blessing in the world. We think we are going to live on forever. I have been waiting for my moment to shine and kept getting blocked by my own style of thinking. Life is worth living; this is the one chance we have at living it. I sometimes drift away from what I really stand for. After all, I am human. I have some anger inside me still; I’ve learned how to control to a certain degree. Life is with living. I sometimes get mad at myself, limiting who I…

Double sided conversation.

Knock knock! Who’s there ? Me. Me, who? It’s me, you. The person that has been with you for the last 27 years of your life. Can you let me in? No. What do you mean no? I said NO!! Why do you always do this? Do what? This. Can you just leave me alone? No, I can’t leave you alone. I let you be for a little while and now it’s time to man up and get your shit together. What do you mean by get my shit together? I have it together. You do? Yes. Can you explain…

Outcast

We are People. Humans that feel feelings. We are more than just flesh. Underneath our flesh lives the soul. I have been so lost in trying to find myself. I used to think that everything was okay. Everything will eventually be okay in the end. I live for things that most people won’t and don’t understand, Inside me there are feelings that have been burnt out from the fire within me. In each of us there are things that burn. We are all on different levels of this thing called life. People have this sense of believing what they believe…

Stay woke

How I survived Cancer. One way of how I survived cancer was letting go of all my old ways. In trying to let go of all my old ways, I got a bit tangled up. My ego is a fighter. My spirit is a child that fears. I am a Libra which represents balance, yet I had no balance. Ever since I was a kid, I used my imagination. During Cancer, I was never worried about the chemo itself; I was more worried about my fantasy madden team. The child in me wasn’t pure. I grow up become him. He…