From cancer

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When heart and brain come to tranquility

When reality becomes fiction, the world starts to become a really scary place. I felt like the world doesn’t care. I know I am a fuck up at times, but let me explain. For me to always say that death shouldn’t be feared doesn’t mean I’m not being empathetic with people – I just mean that there’s no logical meaning to fear something that is given. I’m tired of being in this dark place and after being on an emotional roller coaster ride for the past 36 hours, I had my biggest breakthrough. I never wanted to be a self-centered…

Don’t Be depressed in a opressed world.

Everything in life dies. This moment will soon wash out and new memories of what life should be will live on. Don’t allow the demons that live in your head be there rent-free, the only free thing on this planet is happiness but we put labels on that by trying to follow other people in their own pursuit of happiness. Happiness cannot be bought or replicated. Kindly let me help you or you will drown- I never looked for help in my recovery. People always assumed they knew answers to the problems that I was facing, but the problem was that…

Mind OVER Body

Pain comes from suffering. Ask yourself this question: how many times are you going to repeat yesterday’s mistakes and dwell on tomorrow’s comings because of today’s pain? Now, I am not a rocket scientist but I do know that this pain comes from a place of deep emotions that haven’t been forgotten or better yet,…

don’t count the days, make the days count

Manifest what you want out to the world. A couple of years back I purposed to my fiancé. Impulsive but rational impulsive decision, here the thing I just got my clean bill of health and with that, I knew that death was near and that what I once lived for was now all put behind. Every year I would make a false promise or fake new years resolutions. Whether it was quitting smoking or losing weight. I would always fail because after Jan 1st my hope for change was gone because life started to become normal. One year, losing weight…

Thank You 2017

The year started off strong – coming out of a life-changing trip; after exploring Blue Lagoon and Dunn’s River out in Jamaica, I was getting ready to start my life after cancer again. I was accepted to radiography school, and then 6 months later, terminated. What an experience that was. You see – you’re always told how to live or what to do, but never told to follow your heart and take risks. Radiography is what cured me and helped doctors find my diagnosis, so I will always appreciate the field, but it just wasn’t for me. I witnessed so…

LIKE YOURSELF <3

Like yourself, not just the Facebook likes. Smile through hate and fuck what they say because everyone is going to die and not everyone is living. We all complain about the shit we want to fix but never do so. All I hear from people is you poor thing and the only thing running in…

Thankful for Everything

[2015] Thanksgiving Two days before Thanksgiving, my counts were rising up while my self-esteem was falling. The moment I was waiting for – after being isolated in a room just to myself and my thoughts – I was finally going to be able to see freedom again. I was super excited for turkey and it…

MY HARDEST FIGHT

My Hardest fight|BONE-MARROW TRANSPLANT Night Before Halloween night 2015 was a weird night… while seeing the whole city celebrate,I remember thinking if it was really going to happen the next day. As the fear grew stronger,I felt a feeling of reassurance knowing that I will make it through. To quickly get my mind off thing…

WALKING AWAY TO FIND HAPPINESS

WHAT IS FAILURE ? What defines failure? You can look at it as being one of two things: failure or a come-up to your success. A month and a half ago, I was in the midst of finally starting to get my life back together. For the first time in a really long time, I…

A LETTER TO AN OLD FRIEND..

Why did you think that you could just come and did what you did? Who the fuck do you think you are? Let ME tell you something.. you made me heartless. You made me turn into this monster that no one wants to be around.

Define Failure ?

What’s left to life when everything is lost? “Everything”, one might answer.. The one that answers that is a person that is content with him/herself. See, knowing that we die, we then know nothing on this world is forever, not even the planet itself. So why get so caught up on the idea that you…

A letter to myself pre-cancer !

Dear Cancer Mouhamad, Listen, your life is going to change… You will not only change to become a person that will tackle and take down anything that tries to tell you differently but you won’t really love all the things that you thought once defined you. You are going to become this beautiful person, that…